“Silent Scars: Sexual Harassment of Men – The Pain No One Talks About”

“This article doesn’t deny that women are harassed — it simply dares to say that men are too.”

Yes, that’s true — sexual desire and inappropriate behavior aren’t limited to any one gender. Just as there are men who exploit, harass, or objectify others, there are women who do the same. The difference is, society often refuses to acknowledge female perpetrators, especially when the victims are men.

Terms like “tharki” are used almost exclusively for men in South Asian cultures, implying that only men can be sexually obsessed or predatory. But the truth is:

• Some women do behave inappropriately.
• Some use their position, charm, or emotions to manipulate men.
• And some cross clear boundaries — whether in homes, workplaces, or social settings.

However, when a man tries to speak up, he’s:

• Mocked (“Lucky you! Why are you complaining?”)
• Dismissed (“She’s just being nice.”)
• Or worse, blamed (“You must’ve led her on.”)

These double standard silences male victims and gives power to female predators. True equality means calling out harassment no matter who does it — man or woman.

A Common voice

He’s a man — so he must be strong.
He’s a man — so he must have enjoyed it.
He’s a man — so he must be lying.

In a world where sexual harassment is rightfully condemned when committed by men, we rarely — almost never — acknowledge the reverse: when women are the perpetrators and men are the victims.

These cases exist. They are real. They are painful.
But they go unspoken, unheard, and most tragically, unbelieved.

Below are four true-to-life, true stories based on interviews (name and characters changed) — two from the domestic sphere, and two from the workplace — that expose the ugly reality no one wants to confront. After reading these stories one can relate to them with their own ordeals which took place.

Domestic Sphere

The Cousin with Power

“Tell anyone — and I’ll say you touched me first.”

He was 17. She was 28.

She was his cousin, recently divorced, and now living with their extended family. To everyone else, she was recovering from heartbreak and deserved sympathy. To him, she became a silent predator.

It started slowly: late-night chats, suggestive jokes, a hand brushing too long on his knee, a hug that lingered. He thought it was just emotional vulnerability. Until one day, she entered his room, locked the door, and sat too close. Not realizing that she had entered his room but as he was young therefore got into the trap. She used him in every possible way to satisfy her needs.

When he pushed back, she whispered, “If you ever tell anyone, I’ll say you tried to force yourself on me.”

From that day onward, he avoided her. But she always found a way. When he refused to comply, she threatened to show private messages she had manipulated, or create a scene in front of the family.

He lived under a silent cloud of fear.

He couldn’t speak — because who would believe him over her?

His life became a lie, a performance, a prison — all behind closed doors, inside the very home that was supposed to protect him.

The Aunt’s Dirty Secret

He was 19. She was 45 his mother’s youngest sister. Her husband was bedridden for the last 3 years.

He sympathized her “Khala” a lot and felt sorry for her. Always thinking she is going through hard times was helping her out with chores and whatever domestic help she needed. She treated him like a son — at least that’s what she told the family. Celebrating his birthdays, giving him presents etc. Behind the scenes, her intensions were something else. She’d compliment him constantly, send him late-night selfies, ask inappropriate questions. It felt wrong, but he didn’t want to create tension in the blended family.

One evening, when they were alone, she stood behind him, held him by the shoulders, and whispered: “Don’t act like you don’t want this. I know you think about me.” Same day she called her sister and told her that her husband is not well and wants him to stay the night in their house. This was the final success of her plan. She took full advantage of the situation and crossed all boundaries by blackmailing him about the consequences.

When he tried to complain to his mother and tried to explain her but his mother accused him of lying. “She’s older than you! She treats you like a child! Shame on you.”

That was the end of his support system.

Workplace Harassment

The Manager Who Wouldn’t Take ‘No’

He had just joined as an assistant manager in a corporate firm.
Bright, married, and serious about his career. His line manager was a woman in her early 40s — single, confident, and outspoken. At first, she mentored him. Then she began complimenting his looks, texting him at odd hours, making comments about his physique.

One evening, after a late meeting, she leaned across the table and whispered, “If you keep acting this shy, I’ll have to teach you a lesson myself.”

He laughed nervously — unsure how to react.

Over the next few weeks, she made repeated advances. When he finally confronted her and said he was uncomfortable, her behavior flipped.
She became hostile.
Started nitpicking his work.
Gave him poor performance reviews.

He tried complaining to HR — but they smirked:
“Are you saying a woman is harassing you? Bro, she probably likes you. Relax.”

His career stalled. His confidence shattered.
All because he said “no” to power disguised as affection.

The Cost of Integrity: A Manager’s Silent Trial”

He was the kind of manager every young professional admired — dynamic, well-educated, emotionally intelligent, and grounded in values. Married with two children, he managed his team like a mentor rather than a boss. To him, leadership wasn’t about commanding — it was about uplifting. Especially when it came to women in the workplace, he wanted them to break barriers, rise in merit, and not just “pass time” in an office cubicle.

Among his team, two young women stood out — not because of their performance, but because he invested extra time in mentoring them. He believed they had potential, and more importantly, he wanted them to believe in themselves. But while one took that guidance as a chance to grow, the other took it as something else entirely.

It started subtly.

“What cologne are you wearing today, sir?”

“That shirt color suits you a lot.”

“You always smell so fresh and look so charming.”

He laughed it off. Shy. Polite. “Thank you,” he’d reply. Every time.

But the compliments grew more personal, the glances lingered longer, and the line between admiration and intention began to blur — all from her side.

Her colleague, oblivious at first, eventually noticed. One day, during lunch, she warned her:

“This is not okay. You’re misreading your role here.”

But the girl smiled, brushing it aside. “I just respect him. He’s sweet and caring. What’s wrong with a few compliments?”

Yet, while admiration grew, her work didn’t. Despite his repeated coaching, feedback sessions, and performance plans, her deliverables lagged. She didn’t improve.

And then came the “Year-end Appraisals”.

Her colleague, who had taken the mentorship seriously, scored high. She didn’t.

Shock. Ego. Rage.

In the next 48 hours, everything changed.

She walked into HR and filed a “Formal Harassment Complaint”. She claimed the manager had been “pursuing” her for months, and when she resisted, he deliberately tanked her rating.

The system didn’t know what to believe.

An inquiry followed. Meetings. Statements. Whispers. Doubts. And in those moments, “years of a man’s hard-earned integrity hung by a thread” — not because he did anything wrong, but because “he refused to play along”.

The investigation eventually cleared him. But scars remained — invisible, deep, and permanent.

Sometimes, in a world full of noise, the most painful battles are the ones fought silently.

Because when a man says “no” — “there’s no one to believe him.”

Conclusion / Takeaway:

This article is not a denial of female harassment — it is an urgent call to expand the conversation. Harassment is not exclusive to men as perpetrators or women as victims. Power, manipulation, and inappropriate behavior know no gender. And yet, in our collective pursuit of justice, we’ve left a blind spot — one where male victims are mocked, silenced, or completely erased.

The stories shared here are not fiction. They are quiet truths from homes and offices, where men endured abuse, coercion, and emotional trauma — but had no space to speak. Why? Because society tells them they should be strong. That they must have “enjoyed it.” That they are probably lying.

True equality isn’t just about hiring more women or promoting female voices. It’s about creating a culture of fairness, honesty, and safety for everyone. It’s about recognizing that women, too, can misuse their power. And men, too, can suffer.

Until we have the courage to acknowledge this uncomfortable truth, male victims will continue to suffer in silence — and female predators will continue to act without consequence.

Let’s change that. Not for the sake of gender — but for the sake of justice