(Spoiler: Both Will Eventually Win the Argument)
They say you can’t choose your boss. The same goes for your wife. Coincidence? I think not.
For every successful man, there’s a woman rolling her eyes behind him.
And for every successful employee, there’s a boss wondering how they managed to hire such a “unique” individual.
I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.
Why?
Because I hate to interrupt her. 😅
Let’s face it: no matter how much experience you have in judging people — even if you’re an HR guru with a PhD in body language and facial expressions — you can still be outplayed by someone who has mastered “How to Fake a Perfect Interview” on YouTube.
“I was married by a judge… I should have asked for a jury.” — George Burns
So what’s the solution? Simple.
Learn to manage them both — Boss and Wife.
You can’t choose your boss.
You can choose your wife…
But how she turns out after marriage? Well, that’s like installing a software update and praying your phone still works.
Just remember:
“You can’t choose your father, but you can choose your father-in-law.”
Choose wisely. You might end up managing just one person instead of two.
I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was “Always.”
Let’s be honest — trying to change your boss or your wife is like trying to uninstall pre-installed apps on your phone. You can try… but they’re not going anywhere.
So what’s in your control? YOU.
Improve the quality of the relationship.
(Without compromising your dignity or joining a circus.)
“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” — Phyllis Diller
Let’s not waste life in petty conflicts and confrontations. It’s already short — and getting shorter every time you open your electricity bill.
If something feels toxic (except for your in-laws… they come pre-installed), walk away. But only after giving it your best shot. If you keep failing in every relationship — boss or spouse — maybe the problem isn’t them. Just saying.
“Dad, is it true that in some places a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her?”
“Son, that happens in every country.”
Learn to read the room — or better yet, their moods.
Don’t pitch a new idea to your boss when they’re fuming over Excel sheets.
Don’t discuss a “boys trip” with your wife when her favorite show just got canceled.
Man posts: “Wife wanted.”
He receives 100 letters.
All say: “You can have mine.”
When you disagree — and you will — don’t let it fester. Disagreement is fine. Discord is divorce (or demotion).
Because whether it’s a boss or a wife, they hold power. And they know it.
“The secret to a happy marriage remains… a secret.” — Henny Youngman
So why bother putting in the effort?
Here’s what you earn:
- Trust in you and your abilities
- More freedom and less micromanagement
- Being the go-to person for advice
- Subtle office/wedding table envy from others
- Easier conflict resolution
- The occasional “you were right” (enjoy it — it’s rare)
But always draw a thick line between what you can tolerate and what compromises your values.
First guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!”
Second guy: “You’re lucky… mine’s still alive.”
If you’ve tried everything and things still aren’t working, get out — but only once.
If this keeps happening repeatedly… maybe the common denominator is you.
“A successful man is one who earns more than his wife can spend.”
“A successful woman is one who finds such a man.”
In the end, it’s not about changing them — it’s about managing you.
Control what you can. Laugh when you can’t. And always, always… back up your files and your emotions.
“Marriage is like going to a restaurant.
You order what you want… and then wish you had what the next guy ordered.”
Handling a Boss or a Wife isn’t rocket science…
It’s actually harder. 😄
But the formula is surprisingly simple:
Give respect. Show empathy. Pick your battles. Never react in anger. And remember — timing is everything.
Make them feel valued, listened to, and slightly confused…
That way, they won’t know whether to scold you or hug you. 😅
Most importantly — don’t try to “win” every argument.
Sometimes peace is more valuable than proving a point — especially when your salary or dinner depends on it.
Whether in the boardroom or the bedroom —
Be patient, stay alert, laugh a little (or a lot), and always keep chocolate handy. 🍫
And if all else fails…
Pretend to be on a very important call.
👔 With Your Boss: Do’s & Don’ts
✅ Do’s
- Do your job sincerely – Even if you’re daydreaming about starting a bakery.
- Do communicate clearly – Silence is golden… unless your project is delayed.
- Do give credit where it’s due – Especially when it’s your boss’s idea (even if it was yours).
- Do stay solution-oriented – Nobody likes a chronic complainer.
- Do understand their pressure – They also report to someone… probably scarier.
- Do keep them updated – So they don’t discover things the hard way (or from HR).
❌ Don’ts
- Don’t gossip about them – Office walls have ears… and WhatsApp groups.
- Don’t challenge their authority in public – Unless you’ve mastered the art of job-hunting.
- Don’t take their bad mood personally – It might be their boss… or their wife.
- Don’t surprise them with last-minute issues – Unless you’re gifting a heart attack.
- Don’t fake work – They know the difference between Excel and Netflix.
- Don’t say “That’s not my job” – That phrase works like a “fire me” button.
💍 With Your Wife: Do’s & Don’ts
✅ Do’s
- Do listen — like really listen – Nodding isn’t enough; there will be a quiz later.
- Do compliment her often – Especially when she’s not fishing for it.
- Do help around the house – A dish in the sink is a test. Don’t fail.
- Do respect her family – Because in-laws are forever.
- Do remember important dates – Anniversaries, birthdays, and “the day we first argued.”
- Do laugh with her – It’s the best therapy and cheaper than couples’ counseling.
❌ Don’ts
- Don’t say “Relax” during an argument – Unless you enjoy chaos.
- Don’t compare her to your mother – Or anyone else for that matter.
- Don’t ignore her intuition – It’s probably more accurate than your Google search.
- Don’t bring work stress home and expect silence – She’s not HR.
- Don’t forget to say sorry – Even when you’re 100% right (which you’re not).
- Don’t assume “I’m fine” means she’s fine – Prepare a strategy. And maybe flowers.
Stay Happy.
Live Light.
Laugh Often.
And don’t forget — even the Boss and the Wife are trying to manage you.